Monday, November 29, 2010

Waiting For....Something

We drove out to Beaver Farms

Look who did the cutting

Just kidding we both cut it down but Will carried it all by his lonesome.

Meet Ralph. Isn't he handsome?

I made these when I was a kid and my mom gave them to me a few years ago.  It is my favorite.
Did any one make one of these? You put the beads in the figure and put it in the oven.

decorations that I kept from the wedding.

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I have been looking forward to Christmas probably since Will and I got married.  I ordered Watch for the Light, a collection of Advent readings.  I have also been reading To Dance With God, a book on Christian traditions by Gertrud Mueller Nelson.  When I was single, I thought that in marriage the Christmas season would be absolutely perfect. It is funny how marriage is portrayed to those that are single to be the end of loneliness.  As the Christmas season has begun I have felt lonelier than I thought.  I have been doing a lot of preparing but feeling very restless.  We rushed around to finish the Christmas shopping and we got the apartment decorated but I didn't feel a sense of accomplishment. I wanted the feeling of excitement.  Instead it felt like something was missing…something magical.  Will and I got up and went to church which I was hesitant to do.  The only reason I went was because it was the first Sunday of Advent and I love the themes of Advent.  I moped into the service and the sermon was about the surprise of what is coming.  It didn’t make me feel any better. We had a break before Sunday School started so we walked to Starbuck’s to get a White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha (a.k.a. Christmas In Your Mouth). We sat and talked about how when you get married you can never go home again in the same way.  We will begin our own traditions together and maybe one day have kids to share in the Advent season.  But now it is just us.  How will we take with us the traditions that we both shared in as children and bring them to each other? As we were talking two men began playing the accordion and the guitar.  The sound of Christmas music drifted into my ears and instantly I felt it; the magic that I had been waiting for.  I wanted it to stay but I knew it would leave as quickly as it came.  But what it left was hope. The hope that whether I am single, married, or have a family of my own, Christmas will always be a time where I find myself returning to wait for the unexpected.



        

4 comments:

  1. 1. totally feel you.
    2. thank you for writing this.
    3. seeing those ornaments in the glass jars made me miss our hang out nites together.
    4. i hope to bring some magic your way within the next couple weeks! yay!

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  2. hey rachel! glad i found your blog...and that ya'll are in bham...we should get together sometime! i loved this post and all your crafty things. hope you do good at your show!

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  3. loved the last line. "Christmas will always be a time where I find myself returning to wait for the unexpected." thankyou, rachel. i felt my heart leap at your words. i love you...

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  4. dido on the above comment... great post rachel.

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